How to select in drama audition

Today was a special day for me. My college arranged audition in drama for International Human Value Education. (I know this name doesn’t sound interesting, it definitely sounds like Miley Cyrus decided to wear decent cloths)

Drama is very important in life: you need to come on with a bang. You never want to go out with a whimper.

–Julia Child

In reality, I am the best actor in the world after Tushar Kapoor and Aston Kutcher. (Tushar Kapoor one from Bollywood and Aston Kutcher is an actor in Hollywood. He featured in Two and a half man as  Charlie Sheen’s replacement after season 8. After his appearance in the serial got too much ‘high TRP’ that’s why they decided to shut down.) But I rather  want to call myself SRK. King khan of Bollywood. The best over actor in the world. Kkkkkkkkiraaaaaaaaaaaan.

I went for audition with clear thoughts in my mind. Kishan you know, you’re going to rock this audition. You don’t know ‘A’ of acting but you’re special. You don’t have sister like Ekta Kapoor, brother like Salman Khan and uncle like Amir Khan but you’re  awesome. You’re going to shut selector’s mouth. They must thought ‘what the fuck’.

In short I suck at acting.

So I’ve decided to edit dialogues of 90’s script in today’s time. I went to stage. I held my breathe.  I triggered all my frustrations in my words, I gathered my hatred towards shameless politicians in my words and miracle happened.


Scene:

I kicked some random guy on street. The whole crowd gathered. Too much free people. India you know. So how I am  explaining why I kicked that random guy. 

For people out of India :  67 rupees = 1 dollar

“Price of vegetables were 5 rupees per kg. Now they have hiked to 45 rupees per kg.” I shouted.

“But why did you kick him?” Panvala asked.(some street vandor)

“We could bought milk at 15 rupees per liter. Now impure people milk is sold at 45 rupees per liter.” I shouted.

“But why did you kick this innocent man.” Some random guy from crowd asked.

“One cute and sweet girl from hut killed like a dog in Delhi.” I grunted.

“But how does this concern with kicking that man.” One ugly guy with worst look asked.

“Our country has sold by some shit politicians and businessman. And this fucking guy is asking score of cricket to me. Go to hell, saalle.”

When crowd heard name of cricket score, they all running like Ussain Bolt towards display TV of electronic shop.

“Ab De Villiers and Kohli won’t solve your problem, you fucking ass-holes. Go fuckers watch the match, that’ll remove corruption, employment and women harassment in India.” And I kicked other guy towards TV.


I didn’t believe, I selected in audition. It was just a miracle, I thought. But script from 90’s worked for me well.

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18 thoughts on “How to select in drama audition

  1. I am familiar with Tushar Kapoor. He reminds me of Jerry Lewis (an old time comedian in the states. When Jerry first began -he was so funny, and good -really good. Then he got to full of himself, and it just became about him. His acting suffered then. After watching a hodge podge of Tushar’s movies, I noticed he was beginning to think a little to highly of himself, and that is when I stopped. Oh, but I loved him in the beginning.

    I understand, in India -they come out with a song and if it is a hit -you turn it into a movie. So different from our country, but fascinating. I can only assume this is how the term Bollywood was founded.

    Aston Kitchner is only an okay actor in my eyes.

    Either way -funny post!
    http://www.fiddledeedeebooks.wordpress.com

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Thank you. I learned this small tidbit of information from when Choi Min Ho came to India to do a reality show. However, I really do watch your dramas on occasion. I should repost my critiques from my last blog to this one -and get others to watch too.

        Like

  2. Hats off to you Kishan Thakar!! You have brilliantly proclaimed humor in your own way, which is a very funny piece of reading nd imagining too!! All those lazy people roaming free,trying to act responsible, but are “fattu” actually, comes to my mind after reading this!lol

    Liked by 1 person

  3. You have brought out social hypocrisies and double standards in a vein of humor that’s caustic and couched in Satire. Post Modern India needs narratives like yours. Salman Rushdie is too far off and his language is very artificial. I am living in India and it’s easy to identify with you, Kishan. Anand Bose from Kerala. I enjoyed reading you and I don’t read Chetan Bagat.

    Liked by 2 people

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