A True Happy Birthday To Mahesh

Why people wish birthday with a prefix of ‘happy’? Indian scientists has done research on one happy blogger and after the result they have found out that

there is one guy who was always happy. He was always full of energy played Tennis , watched movies but he was happy. Even he has no girlfriend he stayed happy. He ruled over all the Pune with peace and no girlfriend. He helped old people and attended marriages as a chief guested but he had no girlfriends.

Scientists were shocked after reading the Report Card. One Oscar Award winner scientist quoted, ‘damn him, he is happy because he doesn’t had a girlfriend.’

That’s enough of my nonsense. As Mahesh you’re still alive and reading this post. We’ve decided to celebrate your ‘TRUE HAPPY BIRTHDAY’ by making jokes about you. By reading that you can laugh and remember your birthday that, you turned 20 without any girlfriend. That’s enough of girlfriend puns from me.

To Mitron, sharu karte hain, Ye Mahesh Ki Kahani hain

From Saketh

Mahesh and Mukesh were late to school.
Teacher: Why are you late?
Mukesh: Cycle chain came off.
Teacher: Routine lie. Stay out. What about you Mahesh?
Mahesh: I was helping Mukesh with the chain ma’am.
Teacher: Good boy. Come in.

#BelikeMahesh

From Arti

Mahesh called at police station.

Mahesh: FIR likhni hai
Police: kis bat ki?
Mahesh: gf nhi mil rhi hai.
Police: kb se?
Mahesh: bachpn se…

#belikeMakesh

From Bhaumik
Mahesh is helping his girl to find a chocolate in the fridge which he ate 2 hours agoAnd that’s why Mahesh doesn’t have any girlfriend

#dontbelikemahesh

From Kishan

Mukesh:sad birthday, Mahesh.
Mahesh: Great birthday wish Man
Kishan, Bhaumik, Antara, Saketh and all bloggers: How in the hell sad birthday is great man?
Mahesh: Haven’t you heard. Ye Mukesh ki Kahani hain, this man is going to die and still wishes me on my birthday
and that’s how Mukesh was a great man and Mahesh even greater to accept the sad wishes
don’t be skeptic guys and enjoy birthday wish from all person even from zombies like Mukesh
#belikeMahesh

From Antara:

From love of Antara

mahesh

Kishan and Saketh: haha…Mahesh, stalks girls on social network. He is so pathetic.

Antara: Let me check your cellphone, guys.

Kishan And Saketh: Btw, we forget to wish that happy birthday Mahesh

#belikeAntara

From Aanchal:

This is Mahesh.
He is a blogger. He is a very helpful person.Mahesh hasn’t played Pokemon Go and wasted his time.
So Mahesh is smart.
#belikeMahesh

From Kishan2

Suresh: Mahesh always leaves theatre after five mintes of movie

Jignesh: because he doesn’t smoke or drink

Suresh: no he thinks, Theatre only put a show of ‘Mukesh ki Kahani’

#watchMukeshkiKahani recommended by Mahesh’s long lost brother from  Gujarat Jignesh

Antara is back:

mehesh2

From Pratisha:

mahesh3

 

 

 

August

People who born in August are the luckiest. Like Friendship day on Sunday. Nothing to worry buddy but ‘the nightmare of August’ is going to be true on Thursday. ‘The Rakshabandhan’ This day, I pray to God to change me into Mr.India or Mr.X(btw: god always listens to me). Honestly Rakshabandhan is the least auspicious festival of India. That every man wants to hide and every woman wants to know who has got secret crush on me? Grow up.. Seriously we’ve made this festival like a game. I just hope that..neither of my friends’ birthday don’t arrive on ‘The Rakshbandhan’. stay happy and enjoy Augustine, I mean August.

#article

Heart Of Poet

Like we’ve preserved mind of scientists like Einstein in museum

where should we put heart of poet

in museum, in library, in tons of unsold books in godowns of publishers or we can just crush it

a poet is always made because of some heart breaking tragedy. Only trauma creates poet not by eating a McDonald cheese burger a person could become poet.

you idiot Saral, that only increases your weight

Behind every successful poet, their is a trauma

secret ingredient

if secret  ingredient behind delicious food is love

then trust me

people who are infiltrating social media with love quotes must be Tarla Dalal

DEAD

stupid fellows, who believes Romeo and Juliet was a real story just like pokemons are real.

#rip_love_quoter’s
#no_more_love

Ekta Kapoor And Ramayan

Do you know, God Ram is afraid of Ekta Virus. God knows how her script writers write scripts for her serials like Ye Hai Mahobatein. But if she decides to remake Ramyan. I’m afraid that Sita’ll be kidnapped more than three times.

God bless Ramayan. I’m sorry, Please Ekta kapoor bless God and let them live as they were.

Continue reading “Ekta Kapoor And Ramayan”

TRANSITION

Have I made a decision

Not to change?

And I have got many problems

With a range

So why don’t I just change myself

And what do I panic for

Why don’t I spread my arms to fly

 A caterpillar, being a butterfly

TRANSITION……

Doesn’t change who I’m

TRANSITION ……

Doesn’t change from where I came

TRANSITION…..

To be different from the rest

TRANSITION…..

To be better than the best

TRANSITION…..

From dead to being alive

TRANSITION…..

End to origin I arrive

TRANSITION…..

Being I can’t to being I can

TRANSITION…..

Being a child to being a man

Inevitable, dramatical the way change has been

Astonishing, adventurous it always promises to be

It will change my nature and it will happen too soon

Then I’ll be back, back with a boom

TRANSITION…..

From fake to being real

TRANSITION…..

So heavenly I feel

TRANSITION…..

To cut the weeds I have grown

TRANSITION…..

To feed the tree, I’m own

 

 

TRANSITION…..

From far to being near

TRANSITION…..

Getting away from fear

TRANSITION…..

No longer ‘inside’, yet to be known

TRANSITION…..

Human being to being human

 

NOTE: People change. Situations make them change themselves.For ex:During a storm, only those trees survive who bend themselves rather than standing tall and falling eventually.Some people see transition or change as a compromise. They think why should I change, let the society change and accept me for who I am. My thoughts and their’s contradict each other. I would be happy to know your thoughts too readers. Would be waiting for your responses.

 

The Iron Lady: Smriti Irani

Do you know, 21st century is really become a bad time for Indian politicians. Especially lady politicians are being victims of harassment and bad jokes by Indian Comedians. Smriti Irani is an iron lady. She wasn’t born with golden spoon unlike most politicians. She had made her way on her own. She can give fiery orations, even demons would hide their face when Smriti Irani took fight against her in Twitter. Let’s not forget about how she gave Rahul Gandhi a serious threat in his den.

Continue reading “The Iron Lady: Smriti Irani”

Life Overrated-Overdefined

Time can neither be caught nor be bought

Time is same for all, but times are not

Born nothing and will die being a naught

So be grateful about what you have got

Nothing is permanent, is permanent

Everything perishes, moving or stagnant

Time will perish but dreams are not born to kill

Even a small wound takes time to heal

However the end makes your heart shatter

Its the journey that really matters

Sometimes through the journey however hasy it may seem

You have to move ahead of problems and everything’s gonna redeem

Although you may say that you don’t care

But you’ll always be in a situation of seeking approval

However surrounded by people you may be

If they are not your closed ones, your will always feel alone

Meanwhile in the journey of lifeBe honest to yourself and your wife!!

Hope you don’t mind, yourself being kind

Coz an eye for an eye will make the whole world blind

I don’t know how to conclude

What to include and what not to include

Talking about life, all I can say

Joy and sorrow will always be on your way

We are just actors here as they say

Where He is the director of the play

So you open and drink bottles of zest

And then try to perform at your best

How WordPress Pay Money To Users

This week’s hottest topic in India was seventh pay commission. Anyhow Indian government officials didn’t like that proposal.

In few words update about seventh pay commission

This is applied to sweeper to army officer or IPS officer. It made minimum salary to 18k ruppes in past it was 9k ruppes(around). But(the real part always starts at but) it removed some old unnecessary perk like DA,.. and embed them in actual salary. So ultimately they gave benefit of 1.5 k to 3k ruppes to most government officials. Which is low in compare to past 6th which hiked around 50% salary.

now, they’re going to strike. of-course to protest. That’s why I’ve written this post. Believe me. when they’re in strike, could I get their work and get same money for same work. The reason behind unemployment in India is really too much high. I really want to work but I when I’ll pass out from college, there’ll not be much government jobs.

Enough jokes, I can never handle government jokes. Do we mind if wordpress pay us for writing posts. (ps- I got reply from wp ‘Dream on’). Then I asked fb, whatsapp, insta to pay me something for I pay my 24*7 time with them. They also laughed ruthlessly at my serious demand. I don’t know anything about others, I really have fear that after my bachelor, I’m not going to get any work.

Anyways, enough Rona-dhona. And happy blogging. And never ask wordpress for money  Learn from my experience.

 

Bro to Bro Conversation

Bro 1: Hey bro, how are you? How’s everything going in your life?

Bro 2: How come you are talking about serious things like “life”? You had coffee this morning , hadn’t you?

Bro 1: Yeah I did. I was just goofing around a bit.

Bro 2: Yeah I know. Lives of many people pass like this only.

Just wandering aimlessly like nomads having no base for their thinking.

Let me tell you what really life is. Don’t panic. I won’t be giving any shitty definition about life. It is not, as my negative bros would say  “Arre kya rakha hai life main, khao piyo aur karo marne ka intazaar”  (eat sleep repeat till death).

It is also not, as my positive bros would say, “A divine journey from birth to death seeking God’s appraisal at each moment”.

The thing I hate about these people is that they always want everything in black or white.

A positive bro would say,”Oh how divine is this. God is showering love on his loved ones, like this.” Bro, its not love, that bird is shitting on you. Get the hell out of there.

Life is an experience. A journey. Not any mathematical term which can be defined.

Bro 1: But still it can be defined as ‘birth to death’.

Bro 2: But the thing you are missing here is to ‘live’. Living each moment from birth to death. Seizing each moment as if it were your last. Not like doing maut ka intazaar(waiting for death).

Bro 1: Why bro? A lot of load in a single minute ?😦😦😧😩

Bro 2: I haven’t had coffee this morning, that’s why.

Bro 1: Now I need some coffee😒😒

 

DISCLAIMER: These comments above are subject to experiences. Please experience life carefully before accepting.

 

How to be like Sheldon Cooper

Do you know why Big Bang Theory is my favorite series. Is it as simple, because it makes fun of science guy. Right? One physicist(Leonard), one astronomer(Rajesh) and one Harvard engineer(Howard). True?  No, this series is famous because of Sheldon Cooper. Do you want to know about that guy better, my fellow blogger has described it perfectly. Just go to below link

Continue reading “How to be like Sheldon Cooper”

Newton Gravity Joke

issacnewton

reporter:  Mr. Thakar, imagine while you’re reading Quantum Theory under the tree and suddenly an apple falls on your head from the tree. What’ll you do?

New UPDATED FUNNY BLOG

me: I’d like to throw the tree from which the apple fall on reporter’s head. Who asked me silly question. I know, when I ask you same question. You’d say, I’ll eat that. True?

reporter😦reporter must be thinking, answer depends on is he want to throw the tree, or he is just being nice and offering an apple) Yes,  give me apple.

me: haven’t your mom taught any manners. You ought to clean apple with water first. Didn’t your mom teach you any manners. (looking top to down at reporter) Oh, that’s why you became reporter.

reporter: (reporter turns to camera)dhyan se dekh lijiye is ladke ko (points his finger at me) iss badsoorat chehre pe mat jayenga. kyunki iss badsoorat chehre ke piche choopa hain ek bhola insan. Jo vegetarian ho ke fruit khane ki bat karte hain. go green.

in  english: look at that man with full attention.  (pointing his finger at Kishan Thakar) don’t judge him with his ugly face, because behind that ugly face one really nice, decent, smart, handsome, funny, cute, hunky man is hiding. Who is promoting vegetarian food.

 

I know , what you must be thinking. How is this a joke? or what is the meaning of this post. Really if you felt that way…

 

then what is the meaning of Newton’s idiot story about falling apple on his head. For that we’ve wasted our three years of precious time in our school. Please stop outrage to little student from British.(winner of world’s most boring people )

 

 

have you noticed one thing in this post. A nice and humble reporter. He was so nice that I looked like an asshole in this interview. Kyaa ache din aa gaye??