Kishan Thakar On Match Box

Hey guys, I’ve tried something. Ignore quality of video, background, my worst look, and everything.

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Janmashtami

In the stormy dreadful night, the Baby had born in the jail. Baby was travelling towards Mathura with his dad.  A huge river Yamuna stopped that baby’s way but the baby split Yamuna in two parts with his magical power and took 5 headed snake for his roof to stay protected from the stormy rain. I don’t think that baby needs any introduction. Eighth avatar of Vishnu God Mr. Krishna Vasudev Yadav, he took a birth to `free earth from evil, he was friend of humanity and enemy of devil. He is also a preacher of most selling book in India ‘ The Bhagvadgita‘, but unfortunately no one reads it. From my sources he is writing sequel of his book so we need to stay tune with his new activities on www.kanudo.natkhat.in

 

What can I say about his greatness, once Krishna had a conflict with God Varuna so god Varuna started heavy rain in Vrindavan .But as we know Mr. Krishna Vasudev Yadav the naughtiest boy in the world. He pulled up Mr. Govardhana mountain on his pinky and started playing flute by other hand. All Gopis started doing Garba when he plays with his flute. He flirts with every Gopi, but in his heart there is special place for only one and only Radha, who is older than him still they are the perfect couple in the world. They don’t need to go to perfect couple competitions. On his birthday, obviously ‘Janmastami’. On the holy day of janmashtami we make pyramids to break Matukis. Then what we eat, lots of butter with Bhakri, please don’t ask about next day, digesting that amount of butter in today’s biological cycle God bless us.

 

sharing butter with friends and monkey is his cool way

Enemies’ fear for his Sudarshana Chakra’s slay

It completes a short story of his life in a day.

But at last Krishna doesn’t let any evil stand in the world and kill his uncle Kansh the king of evil and took his revenge. As you read earlier Lord Krishna protected from rain by five Headed Snake so god Krishna is the first person who actually used Umbrella !!! Seriouslly !!! That’s right. Limca Book of world record will definitely note this achievement. The naughtiest and unstoppable personality, no one can stop him rather than his Mother Yasoda’s Palav.

“Bolo shree krishna Kanaiya lal ki Jay”


This article was written in last Janmashtami. And the featured image you can see is hard work of my friend Nisang Vora.

Tomorrow at 12 o’ clock one story on Janmashtami is launching so stay tune.

BRO-BANDHAN

bible for bros which even father can’t break because he has bro father), brocabulary(a vocab for bros), brorak obama(that’s dull, but still bro), bro-zone layer (a curse that every bro is afraid of), broda(when bro is having fun with more bros), brosme(when bro is having swag), bro-tard(an unwanted bro, who keeps running after you) after all this, we don’t have privilege to have a day like BRO-BANDHAN. We need day like this that we can share our brove(bro love). the day where every bros ties a RAKHI for protection of all his bros from *****. this post is dedicated to all my bros

August

People who born in August are the luckiest. Like Friendship day on Sunday. Nothing to worry buddy but ‘the nightmare of August’ is going to be true on Thursday. ‘The Rakshabandhan’ This day, I pray to God to change me into Mr.India or Mr.X(btw: god always listens to me). Honestly Rakshabandhan is the least auspicious festival of India. That every man wants to hide and every woman wants to know who has got secret crush on me? Grow up.. Seriously we’ve made this festival like a game. I just hope that..neither of my friends’ birthday don’t arrive on ‘The Rakshbandhan’. stay happy and enjoy Augustine, I mean August.

#article

Heart Of Poet

Like we’ve preserved mind of scientists like Einstein in museum

where should we put heart of poet

in museum, in library, in tons of unsold books in godowns of publishers or we can just crush it

a poet is always made because of some heart breaking tragedy. Only trauma creates poet not by eating a McDonald cheese burger a person could become poet.

you idiot Saral, that only increases your weight

Behind every successful poet, their is a trauma

secret ingredient

if secret  ingredient behind delicious food is love

then trust me

people who are infiltrating social media with love quotes must be Tarla Dalal

DEAD

stupid fellows, who believes Romeo and Juliet was a real story just like pokemons are real.

#rip_love_quoter’s
#no_more_love

The Iron Lady: Smriti Irani

Do you know, 21st century is really become a bad time for Indian politicians. Especially lady politicians are being victims of harassment and bad jokes by Indian Comedians. Smriti Irani is an iron lady. She wasn’t born with golden spoon unlike most politicians. She had made her way on her own. She can give fiery orations, even demons would hide their face when Smriti Irani took fight against her in Twitter. Let’s not forget about how she gave Rahul Gandhi a serious threat in his den.

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How WordPress Pay Money To Users

This week’s hottest topic in India was seventh pay commission. Anyhow Indian government officials didn’t like that proposal.

In few words update about seventh pay commission

This is applied to sweeper to army officer or IPS officer. It made minimum salary to 18k ruppes in past it was 9k ruppes(around). But(the real part always starts at but) it removed some old unnecessary perk like DA,.. and embed them in actual salary. So ultimately they gave benefit of 1.5 k to 3k ruppes to most government officials. Which is low in compare to past 6th which hiked around 50% salary.

now, they’re going to strike. of-course to protest. That’s why I’ve written this post. Believe me. when they’re in strike, could I get their work and get same money for same work. The reason behind unemployment in India is really too much high. I really want to work but I when I’ll pass out from college, there’ll not be much government jobs.

Enough jokes, I can never handle government jokes. Do we mind if wordpress pay us for writing posts. (ps- I got reply from wp ‘Dream on’). Then I asked fb, whatsapp, insta to pay me something for I pay my 24*7 time with them. They also laughed ruthlessly at my serious demand. I don’t know anything about others, I really have fear that after my bachelor, I’m not going to get any work.

Anyways, enough Rona-dhona. And happy blogging. And never ask wordpress for money  Learn from my experience.

 

Bro to Bro Conversation

Bro 1: Hey bro, how are you? How’s everything going in your life?

Bro 2: How come you are talking about serious things like “life”? You had coffee this morning , hadn’t you?

Bro 1: Yeah I did. I was just goofing around a bit.

Bro 2: Yeah I know. Lives of many people pass like this only.

Just wandering aimlessly like nomads having no base for their thinking.

Let me tell you what really life is. Don’t panic. I won’t be giving any shitty definition about life. It is not, as my negative bros would say  “Arre kya rakha hai life main, khao piyo aur karo marne ka intazaar”  (eat sleep repeat till death).

It is also not, as my positive bros would say, “A divine journey from birth to death seeking God’s appraisal at each moment”.

The thing I hate about these people is that they always want everything in black or white.

A positive bro would say,”Oh how divine is this. God is showering love on his loved ones, like this.” Bro, its not love, that bird is shitting on you. Get the hell out of there.

Life is an experience. A journey. Not any mathematical term which can be defined.

Bro 1: But still it can be defined as ‘birth to death’.

Bro 2: But the thing you are missing here is to ‘live’. Living each moment from birth to death. Seizing each moment as if it were your last. Not like doing maut ka intazaar(waiting for death).

Bro 1: Why bro? A lot of load in a single minute ?😦😦😧😩

Bro 2: I haven’t had coffee this morning, that’s why.

Bro 1: Now I need some coffee😒😒

 

DISCLAIMER: These comments above are subject to experiences. Please experience life carefully before accepting.

 

Newton Gravity Joke

issacnewton

reporter:  Mr. Thakar, imagine while you’re reading Quantum Theory under the tree and suddenly an apple falls on your head from the tree. What’ll you do?

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me: I’d like to throw the tree from which the apple fall on reporter’s head. Who asked me silly question. I know, when I ask you same question. You’d say, I’ll eat that. True?

reporter😦reporter must be thinking, answer depends on is he want to throw the tree, or he is just being nice and offering an apple) Yes,  give me apple.

me: haven’t your mom taught any manners. You ought to clean apple with water first. Didn’t your mom teach you any manners. (looking top to down at reporter) Oh, that’s why you became reporter.

reporter: (reporter turns to camera)dhyan se dekh lijiye is ladke ko (points his finger at me) iss badsoorat chehre pe mat jayenga. kyunki iss badsoorat chehre ke piche choopa hain ek bhola insan. Jo vegetarian ho ke fruit khane ki bat karte hain. go green.

in  english: look at that man with full attention.  (pointing his finger at Kishan Thakar) don’t judge him with his ugly face, because behind that ugly face one really nice, decent, smart, handsome, funny, cute, hunky man is hiding. Who is promoting vegetarian food.

 

I know , what you must be thinking. How is this a joke? or what is the meaning of this post. Really if you felt that way…

 

then what is the meaning of Newton’s idiot story about falling apple on his head. For that we’ve wasted our three years of precious time in our school. Please stop outrage to little student from British.(winner of world’s most boring people )

 

 

have you noticed one thing in this post. A nice and humble reporter. He was so nice that I looked like an asshole in this interview. Kyaa ache din aa gaye??

Why Indian Men Are Best Cook

As Indian men are known for a great helper to a wife, mother, girlfriend, sister. As we prefer to call it as a men cook. To be honest we would love to cook different dishes and that’s not enough. After cooking we’d love to clean kitchen. Removing dirt from dishes is the favorite part Indian men like after cooking.
(Request to repeat these steps to all my brother Bhakts, who shouts Swatch Bharat in India -Bhakt No.1)

First Paragraph Of This Article Strongle Written To Give A Voice To Male Perspective In Blogging World. Don’t Try To Compare This With Your Husband, boyfriend, Son or Brother. There Might Be Some Assholes living In Indian. We Can’t Denie That. And A Hope That My Mom or Future Wife Will Never Read This Post.

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